7:50am.
Our first born son was born. Still.
He was already in the arms of Jesus as I held him in my arms.
Length 15 inches. Weight 2lbs 11oz.
He was beautiful.
His name is Gideon.
This is his story....
After 3 and a half years of trying, we were finally pregnant. And we got pregnant this time with no fertility medicine! What an amazing miracle from the Lord! We were ecstatic to be having a son! He was so loved and so wanted. We dreamed of the life we would have when he would arrive, would he like to sing like mommy or play golf like daddy? What color would his eyes be? What would his laugh sound like?
We were so in love with our son.
We were a month and a half from our due date. I was 33 weeks pregnant and the day before we had my baby shower. The next day I was planning on going to buy his crib and changing table. But...something wasn't right. I noticed he hadn't been moving. So on Sunday May 15th, 2011. My husband and I go to the hospital.
The nurse checks for his heartbeat and cannot find it.
They bring in an ultrasound and they do not let me see the screen, but the moments I do see the screen, I see no movement. After waiting an agonizing time, the nurse comes in and says words no parent should ever hear.
"I am so sorry."
Our miracle had gone to be with the Lord.My husband and I cried and wept. We sought the Lord and asked for His peace. We spent two days in the hospital, while I was in labor with our sweet boy.
On May 17, 2011 at 7:50am. Gideon Zeller Mitchell came silently into this world. We held him and kissed his beautiful face. We talked to him and told him all the things we never got the chance to say. We said "I love you" as many times as possible because we would never get to look into our son's face again in this world and say those words to him.
And then, we said goodbye.
After 3 and a half years of trying, we were finally pregnant. And we got pregnant this time with no fertility medicine! What an amazing miracle from the Lord! We were ecstatic to be having a son! He was so loved and so wanted. We dreamed of the life we would have when he would arrive, would he like to sing like mommy or play golf like daddy? What color would his eyes be? What would his laugh sound like?
We were so in love with our son.
We were a month and a half from our due date. I was 33 weeks pregnant and the day before we had my baby shower. The next day I was planning on going to buy his crib and changing table. But...something wasn't right. I noticed he hadn't been moving. So on Sunday May 15th, 2011. My husband and I go to the hospital.
The nurse checks for his heartbeat and cannot find it.
They bring in an ultrasound and they do not let me see the screen, but the moments I do see the screen, I see no movement. After waiting an agonizing time, the nurse comes in and says words no parent should ever hear.
"I am so sorry."
Our miracle had gone to be with the Lord.My husband and I cried and wept. We sought the Lord and asked for His peace. We spent two days in the hospital, while I was in labor with our sweet boy.
On May 17, 2011 at 7:50am. Gideon Zeller Mitchell came silently into this world. We held him and kissed his beautiful face. We talked to him and told him all the things we never got the chance to say. We said "I love you" as many times as possible because we would never get to look into our son's face again in this world and say those words to him.
And then, we said goodbye.
Through the life and passing of our precious little love, we have felt the peace and comfort of God more than ever. He has truly walked beside us and been closer to us than our very heartbeat. We have learned that he truly makes beauty from ashes. And in the months since our Gideon left us, we have found joy again. And the joy is more rich than it was before. We know that we will be with our son again, and we will get to be with Jesus.
But in the meantime, we remember our son and love him and we seek after the Lord and love Him. And we rest in His peace and joy.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13
You can read Gideon's whole story on my personal blog I Still Believe
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